Seeking Closure
by Erlene
Summary: A/U: Sharon attends a party with her best friend Andrea. She sees the woman that broke her heart more than 25 years ago. Where can they go from here and how will this effect her family.
Sharon sat on the couch holding her phone in her left hand, reading a silly book on her reading app. Jeremiah walked out of the bedroom and sighed deeply. "She's changing again." Sharon simply smiled at her friend. "When she comes out here, can you tell her she looks great so we can go?" He looked at Sharon pleadingly.

Sharon looked at her best friend's husband with empathy and said, "Only if she actually looks great." She smiled at his exasperated expression. Jeremiah walked over to the couch and laid his head on Sharon's leg.

Jeremiah Hobbs had married his wife Andrea 16 years ago. In that time, she had never been indecisive. For the life of him, he could not figure out why now. He looked upped at Sharon who had returned to her book. "If there is no food when we get there, its gonna be your fault. And you will have to go track her down something to eat."

Before Sharon could speak, Andrea walked out of the bedroom. She tugged on her pink cocktail dress, "What do you think?"

Without looking up Jeremiah said, "You look amazing."

"You're not even looking at me. And I wasn't talking to you anyways. I was talking to Sharon. Sharon, what do you think?"

Sharon looked down at the man giving her pleading eyes. Then she looked at her friend, "You don't look comfortable." She said honestly.

Jeremiah rolled on his side and mumbled, "Wake me when it's time to go."

Sharon laughed at him. "Andy, put on the navy sequin dress. The cocktail one. It's sexy and simple at the same time. You'll look amazing. Wear the nude shoes and grab the navy clutch."

"Thank you for your help, Sharon. And don't wrinkle your suit Shorty." Andrea tossed the barb/term of endearment at her husband. And Jeremiah Hobbs was indeed short. Coming in at 5'7. He barely came to his wife's shoulders when she was in heels. This was perfectly fine with him. He always said she was his favorite person to look up to.

He turned his head to look back at Sharon, "Why do we fall in love with women? They take forever to do everything."

She smirked, "I'm a woman, Shorty."

"That you certainly are. But you, Sharon Raydor, have never been one to succumb to the rules."

She laughed and Andrea reappeared from the bedroom. She wore a midi sequin cocktail dress. It was backless and she turned around automatically as she put her earrings in her ears. "Zip me up." She subconsciously fixed the tendrils of dirty blonde hair that fell from the bun.

Jeremiah rose from the couch and approached his wife. He pulled up the short zipper and placed a kiss between her shoulder blades. As she turned around, he placed his hands on her hips. "Let's skip this stupid party and go back in the bedroom. I'd like to take this thing off of you." The look in his eyes was part amusement, definitely attraction and all affection. He loved this woman and everyday he was more and more astonished that she had stuck around.

She leaned down and kissed his lips softly. "No, you promised to take Sharon and me to a fabulous party and you will not welch on me."

Sharon placed her phone in her purse and rose. Sharon wore a lace burgundy cocktail dress that stopped above her knee. With long sleeves and a high neck, it appeared a tastefully conservative number. However, it hugged her entire body from hips to breast and played nicely with her admirer's imagination. Her chestnut brown hair was swept over one shoulder and pinned with a subtle gold clip.

Jeremiah headed towards the door and opened it. He looked at them and smiled smugly. "I'm going to get beat up. The guys are going to beat me up and roll my poor lifeless body into the street for the chance to take both of you home."

As they moved passed him to the waiting car Andrea took her husband's hand, "Well, I'm the only one interested in going home with any man. Ever. And we will both protect you from your attackers."

They slid in the back of the black sedan and headed towards the party. It was a cocktail party for the FBI, DOJ and a few other DC organizations. Jeremiah had been a deputy assistant director in the FBI for the last 4 years. Recently, he had been assigned to run an interstate cyber investigation unit. This allowed him to be home with Andrea and their three children for more than 15 days a month and he loved it.

However, it also meant that he lived between DC and their small Californian city. And had to attend more political functions and play nice with the powers that be. And he hated it. However, he had had the good sense to marry a woman that was charming and practical. His Andrea was a small town lawyer. When they met, she was ADA on the fast track to being the DA. After they married and had their first two children, he had left his job as a field agent and began to work from home. He wanted to support her and be the guy holding her purse as she took the world by storm. After seeing her come home day after day worn out and eventually miserable, he suggested she take time off. That meant that he would head back to work to support them. He was always good with computers and analysis, and once his former colleagues found out he was back on the market they immediately plucked him up for the cybercrimes division. From there he moved up. 9 years ago, when Andrea, told him she was pregnant again he looked for something with a slower schedule. She had already began to build a small private practice that supported small businesses and he was frankly tired of missing the recitals and games and wrapping his arms around his wife at night.

Generally, he came to DC on his own, but this trip Andrea had insisted she needed a break from being a mother. So, she had dropped their kids off with her mother and his parents and drug Sharon to DC for some girl time. He had barely seen them and was glad that they both wanted to accompany him to this event.

He had known Sharon longer than Andrea as they met Sharon in college. He had to admit, initially he had a bit of a crush on her. Once he had worked up the nerve to kiss her at a frat party, he had invited her to, he discovered that they were destined to be just friends. And now he thought of her as his sister. A few years after college, when he had broken up with the last in a string of wrong girls he had jokingly asked Sharon to set him up with someone normal. She had said the most normal person she knew was Andrea. He challenged her to bring it on. He still shook his head at God's sense of humor. His once great crush, introduced him to the love of his life. For that he would forever be in her debt.

They pulled up in front of the hotel and stepped out of the car.

They mingled for a bit. "This place is packed." Sharon said to Andrea.

Jeremiah presented both of them with his arm and walked them into the party. They spent the better part of an hour meeting senators, other agents, congressman and other of the most important people in DC. At least, that's what they all portrayed themselves to be.

Sharon slipped her away from her friends and made her way to the bar. She needed a moment to just breath. When Andrea walked up next to her, she asked, "Having fun?"

"You know I am. I love this stuff. It allows me to pull out all my proper girl of society training." They both smiled at one another.

They met when they were eight. Andrea was awkward and shy, which generally gave the other children reason to pick on her. Sharon was aloof and distance, which made the girls in their class follow her around. When Susan Bisen, grabbed Andrea's pony tails and threw her in the dirt. Sharon had rushed to her aid and pushed Susan so hard she fell face first on the side walk. She then held her hand out to Andrea and they had been best friends since. Andrea smiled at her friend, "It's like putting on an old pair of gloves, and you love it as much as I do."

Sharon hid her smirk behind her drink, "I think I'm getting to old for it."

"We are the same age and I am not old. So, neither are you." They both laughed at that. Jeremiah came over to them both. He placed his hand on his wife's hip and leaned over to the bar to get a drink.

"Y'all worn out." Andrea leaned into her husband. "Or do you want to meet my new director?"

"Sure Jer. I've had a drink." Sharon smiled at her friend and picked up her bourbon. They walked back into the mass of people. Sharon and Andrea met the new director and countless more people.

She was having a nice conversation with Jeremiah's new director, when he turned around and tapped a petite blond on the shoulder. When the woman turned around, all Sharon's breath escaped from her body. The noise in the room went dull and Sharon blinked her eyes slowly.

There she was. It in a simple elegant silver suit with pearls at her ears. Sharon hadn't seen her in more than 25 years and somehow this woman still managed to take her breath away.

"Uh, Sharon Raydor. I'd like you to meet Brenda Leigh Johnson. Brenda is a professor of Strategic interrogation and investigation techniques at Quantico. Brenda, Sharon is CEO at Drayor Corp. She was just quoting from that paper you brought up last week on about investigation efficacy… I can't remember the name of it." He looked at Sharon for assistance.

"Ummm. Excuse me she said. I don't feel well." Sharon rushed out of the room. Knocking down a waiter in her haste. She entered the main lobby and looked desperately around. She needed some place to… hide.

"Sharon!" She heard Andrea's voice call out as she spotted the bathroom and rushed to it. She gripped the edges of the sink and the attendant asked her if she was ok. The brunette took long deep breaths in and out. Trying to get control of her breathing as best as possible.

"Sharon." Andrea's voice came quietly this time and closer to her. She felt a gentle had on her arm. "Sharon. What's wrong? What happened?" Andrea's voice showed clear concern. She hadn't ever seen her friend like this. At a complete loss of control. Looking like she would come apart at the seams. "Sharon, please talk to me."

"I'm fine." Sharon voice came out in a harsh squeak. "I just need to get my bearings. I didn't…." She trailed off. Took another deep breath, this time her voice came back stronger. "I'm fine."

"What happened?" Andrea placed her hand on her friend's back, rubbing soothing circles.

"I can't talk about it here."

"I'll get Jeremiah and we'll go." Before she could walk away she felt the muscles in Sharon's back tense. She looked at her friend's reflection in the mirror and followed her gaze to the right.

The petite blond stood framed in the door way. Her gaze never wavering from Sharon's face. "Hello Sharon." She said quietly.

Sharon squared her shoulders and turned to face her. "Brenda Leigh."

"I didn't know you would be here." She nodded in the other blonde's direction. "Andrea. It's been a while."

Andrea's tone was cool and remote. "Yes. It has. We were just leaving." Andrea picked up Sharon purse from the sink counter and pushed her friend forward by the small of her back.

"If you don't mind Sharon. I'd like to have a few moments of your time." When the brunette didn't reply, Brenda looked around the room. She raised her voice only slightly and said to no one in particular. "May I have the room, please?" After a brief hesitation, women began to file out. "Thank y'all very much." She drawled sweetly.

When the attendant left, Brenda looked back at Sharon, Andrea still at her side. Sharon held her gaze for a minute, then turned to her friend. "Andy its ok. I'll be out in a minute. By the time you get Jer, I'll be ready to leave."

"You sure."

"Yes. I'll be out soon." Andrea rubbed Sharon's back one more time and sent Brenda a cold hard look before she swept past the woman and out the door. Brenda turned around and locked it.

"So, no one will accidentally wonder in." She moved away from the door and sat in the sitting area away from the door, but still in Sharon's eye sight. Years of training told her that actions often spoke truth and she didn't want Sharon to feel trapped.

They sat in silence for a long stretch of time. Then Brenda opened and closed her mouth several times. Finally on a slight chuckle she said, "I'm not often at a loss for what to say." This made Sharon smile. "I didn't expect to see you here or anywhere for that matter."

"Obviously. Neither did I." More silence.

"You look…" On a breath she said, "Amazing." Brenda closed her eyes and shook her head.

"That's what you cleared the room to say to me." There was a slight hint of anger in Sharon's tone. "After more than 25 years, all you have to say to me is 'you look amazing.' Ok. Thanks."

"What am I supposed to say?! And you have no right to be angry with me. I didn't discard you like you were yesterday's trash. And even afterwards, I'm still the stupid girl that comes after you when you start running."

"Discard you?!" Sharon felt her voice rise. She could feel herself tremble with the slight edge of rage. "I'm not the one who walked away without a word. You didn't say good-bye or leave a note. I left for work one morning and you weren't there when I got back. No explanation!"

"What are you talking about Sharon? You sent that fancy lawyer to pay me off and when I wouldn't take the money, he threaten my father's job. You knew we needed that. You knew that without his income we wouldn't have anything. And still you hung it over my head. I trusted you and you used it against me. I knew I wasn't good enough for you, but you didn't even have the decency to say it." Brenda wiped away at the tears she had promised herself she wouldn't cry again over Sharon Raydor.

Sharon looked on astonished. "I never sent a lawyer. I wouldn't ever… Not ever." Sharon was silent for a few minutes. She slowly walked over to Brenda and sat down next to her. "We made love that morning. Before I went to work, I dropped by my parent's house for breakfast. My father had just left mother had a spell, and my aunt was still in the breakfast room. I told her about us, about you. We fought and I went to work. When I got home you were gone and I was devastated."

Brenda looked in her eyes, searching them. "You didn't send the lawyer?" When Sharon shook her head. "I'm stupid. I'm so utterly stupid." She laid her head on the brunette's shoulder. "I thought… I was so hurt. I couldn't think. I just reacted. I grabbed my stuff and walked out. I should have stopped to think. I thought I knew you and he told me… No I assumed that you had sent him when he said he was the Raydor family lawyer." She took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry Sharon. I am so incredibly sorry."

The brunette felt the wetness of the tears through the lace of her dress. She pulled the petite woman closer to her. "Its ok," she murmured. "I should have looked for you. I should have moved heaven and earth to find you. But your mother said that you had left and didn't want to see me. She had always been so kind to me and all I saw was disdain on her face that day. I thought she was just that good at hiding her feelings. And since you had left she no longer had too." She held Brenda a little longer. "Come on, B, please stop crying."

Brenda laughed at the old nickname. "No one calls me that anymore. I've missed you." She looked at Sharon and cupped her cheek. She pulled those lovely lips inches from her own and stopped. She took a moment to remember what Sharon felt like, what she tasted like before she pulled her closer.

When their lips met, Brenda felt her pulse race. A piece of her settled, for the first time in a long time. Sharon didn't feel the same, but she felt familiar. The blonde poured every feeling she had into the kiss. Pressing her tongue to the closed mouth to ask for entry. When those lovely lips parted, she moved with full force. She couldn't help herself. A part of her wanted to be gentle. But more than that she wanted to feel every inch of her former lover. She wanted to see how much the contours of the mouth that haunted her dreams had changed. When brunette's tongue stroked hers, she let out a low moan.

Sharon pulled back. Brenda's eyes were closed and her breathing shallow. She still sought Sharon's mouth which made the brunette smile. She leaned in again for another kiss and pulled the smaller woman's lower lip into her mouth, sucking gently.

A guttural moan escaped the blonde this time. And when she pulled back she said, "You're still really good at that."

Before Sharon could speak, someone banged on the door. "Sharon! Sharon! Are you still in there?" Andrea's voice came through the door. Sharon heard Jeremiah's voice, but couldn't hear what he said.

"If I don't go out there she's going to make Jeremiah go get a battering ram and three really big agents." Brenda pulled her closer.

"I can always order them not to use it." She leaned and kissed Sharon again. Sweetly this time. "I'm staying here in the hotel. Come upstairs with me."

"I can't. I have to think Brenda. 28 years is a long time. I need to think, please understand."

"Sure." Brenda let go of the brunette and rose to unlock the door. "We both need to think, I guess." She opened the door and moved past Andrea.

Before Andrea could walk in, Sharon came towards them. "Are you ok?" She asked her friend.

"Yes. No." After a few beats, "Not really."

"What did she do to you?" Andrea said.

"Seriously Andy. You can see what she did to her." Jeremiah quipped indicating Sharon's swollen lips. "The question is why did you let her stop?" This is why Sharon loved Jeremiah. He always knew how to distract from the tough questions. "Let's go ladies. This conversation will be easier with copious amounts of booze."

Sharon followed them outside. She couldn't get the feel of Brenda off her mind, off her body. Her body tingled and she wanted more of those kisses. She wanted to feel the other woman's skin. To taste it. Her mind wandered back to what it used to feel like when Brenda was inside of her. On top of her. The sound Brenda would make when she came in her lover's mouth.

As the black sedan pulled up, Sharon turned to her friends. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Sharon. That woman broke your heart. She broke you. Please don't let her do it again." Andrea said pleadingly.

Sharon took her friend's hands. "It's a long story that I'm going to have to tell you later. But now I can't walk away again. Please try to understand. Please trust me and just be my friend."

Jeremiah placed his hand on Sharon's shoulder. "Call us if you need us." He said as he pulled a small black flip phone from his pocket. "It's a burner, fully charged, and has my number programmed in it. If yours dies, use this to call me. OK. I'll come get you whenever."

Sharon smiled sweetly at them and hugged her friend. "I will. I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

She raced back into the hotel. And walked over to the hotel phone hanging on the wall. When the concierge answered she asked for Brenda Johnson's room. The phone rang for what seemed like forever before Brenda's voice came on the line. "Yes." The tone was clipped.

"What room are you in?" Sharon's tone was hesitant. What if having time to think, Brenda decided she didn't want her anymore. "I decided I think too much."

"1019. I'll call down and have them clear you." She heard the click of the line going dead and held the receiver to her ear for a few more moments.

Once hotel secuirty let her pass to the elevators, Sharon forced herself to let out the breath she had been holding. Her phone beeped and she reached in her purse to read the text.

 _I do trust you. Be careful._

It was from Andy. Andy who had picked her up off the floor and put her to bed after she had gotten stupid drunk when Brenda left. Andy who came by every day for three months when she was too depressed to get out of bed. Her best friend. She texted her back.

 _I don't know what I'm doing. But I know I have to do it. Can you understand?_

The next text came quickly. _Yes. I love you. Take care of my friend ok._

 _Love you too. I will._

Sharon exited the elevator and made the left towards Brenda's room.


End file.
